In Vietnam

Nice duds, Bush. That ao dai. You look good in blue. I like the gold trimmings, too. Kind of rich. But what's with the scowl? Things not going your way?

Or perhaps it was just a weird feeling, being in Hanoi? The description of your visit to Vietnam in yesterday's New York Times and its comparision of your visit there with Bill Clinton's visit six year ago was depressing: the gregarious Bill, the reclusive George; the expansive Bill, the secretive George. The Bill who loved nothing better than to wade into crowds and who insisted on making a lunch stop at a local noodle shop. The George who, according to the Times report, spent only 15 minutes ouside his hotel on a single non-official event.

Still, according to your national security advisor, Stephen J. Hadley, even though you did not come into direct contact with the Vietnamese people, you managed to "connect" with them anyway. Said your Hadley, "If you'd been part of the president's motorcade as we've shuttled back and forth, [you'd have seen that] the president has been doing a lot of waving and getting a lot of waving and smiles." (Which reminded me, Bush, of your driving past Cindy Sheehan in your motorcade in Texas last summer--minus, of course, the smiles and waves.) "I think he's gotten a real sense of the Vietnamese people and their willingness to put a very difficult period for both the United States and Vietnam behind them."

Wow! All this from a motorcade, behind bullet-proof glass. I have to hand it to you, Bush, you really can read the minds of those people on the streets. I guess the waving and smiling says a lot. Bill, of course, could feel their pain--but everyone laughed at him for that.

On to Indonesia, on the grand tour. I gather that it was a flying visit to the largest Muslim nation on the face of the earth. Six hours on the ground. And massive security. No overnight stop, too dangerous. Ah well, I guess with your superhuman abilities to connect at speed through bullet-proof glass, you got a real feel for the Indonesian people too. Though from what I read and hear, there were more hisses and boos than smiles and waves from these particular visitees.

Home again soon, though, Bush. And back to Crawford, I bet, for the Thanksgiving feast. After Thanksgiving, I'll let you know about my planned preemptive war on Christmas. Just something I'm cooking up...

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