Christmas Gifts

Lucky I declared that truce in my war on Christmas, Bush. Otherwise I might have missed out on a wonderful day with family and friends, not to mention some delightful gifts. For me, notably, from my son in England, via the Internet I presume, a special present: an original America's Real Action Heroes "Talking Presidents Presents" George W. Bush Top Gun doll! What a kick! It's a "12 inch tall action hero with accessories", replete, of course, with pictures, on the back cover, of that famous landing--and that infamous banner above your head as you made you "Mission Accomplished" speech.

I reread that speech, Bush. It's printed in full on the inside cover of the Bush doll box, above a picture of your good self standing tall at the podium in front of rows of raptly attentive sailors. It's the one where you declared that "Major combat operations in Iraq have ended. In the battle of Iraq, the United States and our allies have prevailed." "We have begun the search for hidden chemical and biological weapons," you added, "and already know of hundreds of sites that will be investigated."

Ah, well, Bush. This, and many other ironies in that speech, when read in hindsight, along with all the hot air and the promises of freedom and democracy that you continue to mouth in lieu of a sane, realistic appraisal of the situation your actions have created there, and a strategy with which to address it.

One other thing you might be interested to hear about. On the bottom of the box, just below the bar core and the Item No. 05103 you'll find the MADE IN CHINA stamp, in bold print. Odd, you'll agree, for "Real American" heroes. And on the front of the box, below a picture of this handsome toy-man in his flight suit, next to a warning exclamation mark enclosed in a triangle, these words: "Choking Hazard". And surely the crowning insult: "Small Parts."

Oh, no!

Hope you had a good Christmas, Bush. Hope Santa was kind to you. Hope you managed to do better than me in the food and drink department. My daughter gave me a refrigerator magnet image of the Wicked Witch of the West. I've put her by the handle of the ice-box door and renamed her The Diet Lady. Maybe that will scare me off, the next time I head in that direction. Anyway, we're all looking forward to that "new way forward" in the New Year, Bush. It's hard work, I'm sure, preparing for that speech-to-come. Just, please, a little more realism than the one that's printed on the George W. Bush Top Gun doll box.