116 Fears. By my count.

Sorry about yesterday, Bush. As predicted, I didn't get around to making an entry for you. I was thinking about you, though. Speaking the other day about your exploitation of our fears, I began wondering what I myself might be afraid of. I came up with quite a list. Some big, some small…

116 Fears

Pain. Death. Dying. Dying alone,
dying in pain, sudden death, death
in a car crash, death in a plane crash.
Death by fire. Burning. Injury.
Losing an arm, losing a leg, a finger.
Incapacity, disability, impotence.
Incontinence. Needing people.
Needing someone to clean me up,
get me dressed. Needing someone
to feed me. Not knowing. Losing
my way, losing my mind, losing
my manhood. Losing control. Losing
my wife, my daughter, my sons,
my grandchildren. Losing everything.
No money. No place to live, no job.
No means of support. No love.
No belongings. No clothes. Being seen
naked. Being seen to be foolish
or inadequate. Dancing. Being awkward,
being incompetent. Being in unknown
territory. Being unknown. Finding
myself in situations of perceived danger
or discomfort. Being ridiculed, hated,
scorned, mocked. Being exposed
for the fraud I suspect myself to be
at weak moments. Weakness. Being
seen to be weak or incompetent. Seen
to be small. Inconsequence. Cowardice.
Vulnerability. Being put on the spot.
Public speaking. Being called upon.
Falling. Falling from a great height,
being pushed. Being pushed into
something. Fear of the void. Fear
of nothingness, emptiness. Fear
of no meaning. No sense. Being hurt
by others for no reason. Being beaten.
Hurting myself by hurting others.
Cruelty. Torture. Being deprived
of air. Being crushed, being buried
alive, not being able to move a limb,
being pinned down, stuck, powerless.
Earthquakes. Being taken. Taken
for a fool. Being robbed. Being
taken advantage of, being taken
for granted. Not being loved, or loved
too much. Being suffocated, smothered.
Drowning. Watching suffering. Watching
others suffer without being able to help.
Cancer. Disease. Slow death by cancer
or disease. Lacking the courage to face
disease and dying. Living a life without
meaning, without purpose. Being useless.
Knowing nothing about whatever lies
beyond life. Not being alive. Oblivion.
The end of everything. No me.
Nothing. No more. Never.

That's it, Bush. Not a comprehensive list, I guess, but it will do for now. I wonder if you have your list, too? I hope it's not as long as mine. And not so scary.