Saturday, December 11, 2004

On the side of the hawks!

My wife wonders (aloud, and in my presence--though I must admit her opinion was solicited) whether I'm not getting a bit long-winded in this journal. Will my reader's attention flag, she asks, if I make too burdensome a demand on their time? Good question. I trust you'll let me know, Bush, when I begin to bore you.

Meantime, I'm very excited this morning. I think I've finally found an issue on which we might both be able to end up on the same side: the side of the hawks. You've probably been reading about those good rich folks on the Upper East Side of New York City--the board of a fancy co-op on Fifth Avenue--deciding to destroy the nest of a pair of red-tailed hawks who had been happily residing, rent-free, at this upscale address for years, and raising a succession of families there. Their eight-foot wide nest of twigs and debris, which straddled a cornice on the twelfth floor, was deemed unsightly; the hawks' droppings were causing damage to a canopy down below; their habit of bringing back live prey--rats, etc., for God's sake!--at dinner time and, I guess, tearing their red meat apart and causing acute distress to residents of more delicate sensibilities, was considered beyond the bounds of acceptable behavior; and to top it all, they attracted bird-watchers with cameras and binoculars in the street below. Imagine how unpleasant for the likes of the camera-shy Paula Zahn--one of the offended residents--to be exposed to the daily stares of a bunch of Audubon Society freaks!

Anyway, Bush, they tore down the nest--to howls of protest from the many New Yorkers who had taken some understandable pride in the welfare of their wild and handsomely feathered fellow-citizens. So what I want to know is: which side are you on? Instinct must surely draw you to the side of the hawks. On the other hand, political contingency might constrain your support for the ultra-wealthy. A quandary for you, Bush. But I think you'll be happy to hear that I, for once, am firmly on the side of the hawks.

1 comment:

Lord Chimmy said...

I guess that means there's not going to be any more PBS documentaries about the red tails. Now that the hawks are out of the way perhaps we can start watching the habits of those affluent building dwellers.