CRIME PAYS!

Speaking of values, Bush, did you hear about our Martha? Martha Stewart, that is. Does it strike you as peculiar that she's planning a new television series from her jail cell? Mark Bennett--the Brit who packaged that whole "Apprentice" deal for Donald Trump--is working with her to develop the new show, and proud of it. He thinks that Martha took the rap for a whole lot of corporate malfeasance, and she's paying the price for being the world's foremost woman billionaire whose success is threatening to those of us who can do nothing but envy her great genius.

Okay, some truth there. But listen, Bush, it's not really about that, is it? Those arguments, and others like it, neatly circumvent that fact that Martha simply lied. Under oath. She'd be my hero too, perhaps, if she'd just been able to come out and say it: "I lied, folks. I did a bad thing. I broke the law, and I have no excuses. Or rather, I have lots of them, but that's all they are: excuses. I hate to say it, but I deserve my little jail sentence. Please be careful not to follow my example."

Because the other stuff, well, we could surely forgive her that. She's a nice person, I'm sure. And even the lie is forgivable, right? It's kind of understandable. It's the refusal to accept responsibility for her action that makes me mistrust her.

There I go again, right? Holier than thou. But here's another thing that galls me, Bush, perhaps more even than the denial of responsibility: the blatant, in-your-face exploitation of the fact that crime--at this level of the social ladder--does pay. Celebrity and wealth seem to multiply exponentially, no matter what. Martha's sentence has only made her a more valuable commodity, and marketing this new product she's cooking up--forgive the pun--should be a cinch. The Donald, who, some say, has often proved a disaster as a business man, gets to star in a TV show that promotes his brilliance as a business man. It might be the most successful thing he's ever done.

Ironies, Bush! Ironies!

Call it envy, if you like, but the whole thing pisses me off.

The trilogy, by the way, is coming along. I'm walking a fine line myself between putting my judgment out there and practicing the self-righteousness that I'm always railing against. That's what's holding me up a bit, Bush. I know I run the risk of coming across as a pompous ass, and I'd prefer that not to happen. Anyway, I might have a piece of it for you tomorrow. Stay tuned.