A Special Entry: for Leigh

I ran into my friend Ross at the gym yesterday. He told me the story of his brother's recent death, from AIDS, after 25 years surviving the disease. Ross told me more than he says here, about the neglect and heartlessness of the medical insurance business when it comes to cases they deem hopeless--or too expensive for their corporate pocket books. It's a terrible, yet all-too-familiar story in today's America. Here's Ross's tribute to his brother, in his own words; and his implied indictment of a society that fails to care enough for its least fortunate:

"It's been a tough few days. Yesterday my 3 brothers, 2 nieces, and nephew in law, and I went to the hospital and said goodbye to my brother Leigh. We brought Bach on piano on a ghettoblaster. We held him as the respiratory therapist removed the breathing tube. He was awake and we were with him. Finally peace. It was the most natural thing to do. 59 years....25 years with AIDS. A long time fighter, he got sick around 1981, before anyone even heard the term GRID (gay related immunodeficiency syndrome). I went with him to a nutritionist specializing in AIDS once per week in 1983. Main treatment....3 pounds of turkey meat daily. He used a non-medical approach to healing for the first 15 years...when everyone was dying. I remember visiting him when he was sick with high fever of 105 for weeks.

Treatment......organic juicing 4 times daily. He would call me and request the specific vegetable or fruit he was craving. He did not use AZT or DDI or antibiotics when others died on them. He started a group called "HEALING OURSELVES" which met once a week for years in 1992-1993. I attended some of them. Ozone therapy, Juicing, Exercise, super high Vitamin/Antioxidant drip infusions, etc, etc, etc. I learned some thing I am sure. Do not depend on the doctor for your cure. Be the responsible person for your own health.

I'm rambling. I am unconciously wording my brother's eulogy. He was my big gay brother. My only gay brother. He did everything first. He was wild. He competed in the Van Cliburn Piano competition in the 1980s. He was a strict piano teacher. He composed 50 original music pieces. He wrote books of poetry. He was an AIDS activist. Leather, motorcycle, vocal. He was not afraid to scream his anger. He picketed with the AIDS groups that were violent but effective in getting new drugs released. He TOLD HIS STORY to his world at every chance. He brought his piano students and parents together in 1991 (50 students) and announced that he was retiring from teaching piano due to AIDS. He felt he could not hide his condition any longer and that it was the only responsible thing possible. Parents would be afraid to have their kids being taught by a person living with AIDS.

He lost his ability to walk and care for himself in 1995 and he moved in with me for 2 years 96-97. It was hell. He began to recover with combination therapy and re-learned how to walk. He told me to fuck myself and moved out in 9/97. He then lived in West Hollywood until 12/04 when he was evicted and ended up on the street with no care. He was severely handicapped for these last 8 years. Electric wheelchair. Incontinent of urine and feces. Mentally unable to fully care for
himself. Always smelly. Often angry. Intensely emotional. Playful like a puppy. His total companion for these last 8 years was his dog BESSIE. She loved Leigh totally like no-one else could.... and he loved her... unconditionally. They played together daily. She ate what Leigh ate. He was hospitalized 4 weeks ago with pneumonia and died yesterday.

What will I learn from my brother Leigh? How to be unafraid in the face of disaster? How to live? How to die?

I love my brother."