Dinosaurs

Well, Bush, it's always nice when some alert and well-informed reader catches me with my pants down. Metaphorically, I hasten to add. Case in point, my argument, yesterday, for Tony Blair's (relative) innocence in being dragged into your war. Here's a piece that casts your Blair in a different light.

Ah, well. My reader wonders why this news has not received more play in the media. I can only surmise that it must seem a tad stale to them, especially when they have the "runaway bride" to occupy their attention--a big story, Bush, and one that took up a good few minutes of major news time on all three morning shows this very morning! As they used to say, dig it! I have to say it, though, having read this article through and learned to be a little more mistrusting of the British PM: I still kind of like the guy. He's a wee bit saucy. And he's doing good things, I believe, for the British economy in the context of the European Common Market. Anyway, thanks, thoughtful reader. I appreciate the nudge.

But that's not what I was planning to talk to you about this morning, Bush. My curiosity was piqued on reading about those 130-million year old dinosaur bones they discovered recently in Utah. What would your creationists say, I wondered? I heard one argument, which went approximately thus: if God was powerful enough to create the whole world in six days 7,500 years ago, he could certainly have created 130 million year old dinosaur bones at the same time, and scattered them about with such cunning (and such foresight) that they would only be unearthed 7,500 years later, by a bunch of wicked scientists dedicated to disproving His existence. Seriously, Bush. I heard that.

To get myself a little better informed, however, I did take the time to google "creationism and dinosaurs"--and got 57,200 hits in 0.21 seconds! Wonders! So this is the real dope: man and the dinosaurs walked the earth at the same time! No kidding! I never knew this. I always labored under the misapprehension that they were separated by some millions and millions of years. But this is the commonly agreed-upon story on many of the creationist websites. Carl Baugh, Ph.D., Founder and Director of the Creation Evidence Museum (in Glenrose, Texas) has excavated eleven dinosaurs, no less, and concludes that man and dinosaur "lived contemporaneously." He should know, I suppose, as Founder and Director of a museum!

"Dinosaurs & Man Existed together" proclaims BibleProbe.com, anxious to explain away those 130 million years of history. I mean, pre-history. BibleProbe continues thus:

There are many references to dinosaur-like creatures in both the Protestant and Catholic versions of the Bible. However, the word "dinosaur" isn't found anywhere in the Bible because it didn't exist as a word until the 1850's. Prior to that, the most common word used to describe dinosaur-like creatures was "dragon", and that word is found many times in scriptures. The word "behemoth" was also commonly used. The Bible best description of a dinosaur is in Job 41:15-24. Job is a very old book, probably written around 2000 B.C. Here God describes one of the larger dinosaurs. It is said to be describing a Brachiosaurus. It is a giant plant eating animal with strong bones. It is not afraid of anything. In Job this dinosaur is compared to the ancient cedar.

"Look at the behemoth which I made along with you and
which feeds on grass like an ox. What strength he has
in his loins, what power in the muscles of his belly!
His tail sways like a ceder (sic--PaL); the sinews of his thighs
are close-knit. His bones are tubes among the works
of God, yet his maker can approach him with His sword.
The hills bring them their produce, and all the wild
animals play nearby. Under the lotus plant he lies..."

-Job 41:15-24

Sounds like a dinosaur to me, Bush. No? Adds Creationism.org, taking the scientific tack:

Carbon-14 dating of carbon buried in the same layer with dragon bones helps to confirm that they are really only thousands of years old. The myth-ions and myth-ions of years never happened; only in the past 200 years has it become fashionable to forget our true ancient history (of thousands of years) in favor of God-hating (or: "bumbling-inherently-weak-god") evolution.

EvidenceofGod.com has its own tricky question: how did dinosaurs fit in the ark? And, of course, an answer:

There is no Biblical indication that God didn’t intend the extinction of dinosaurs before the flood (for whatever reason). If dinosaurs were brought into the ark, it would be difficult to account for space requirements unless they were eggs or very young.

Aha! Smart man, that Noah!

Listen, Bush, this goes on and on. You can check it out for yourself. I could give you the links, but I don't like to make things easier for these folks. And I frankly wouldn't mind so much except that so many of the sites are explicitly addressed to children. It's unconscionable, to feed them this kind of trash. But maybe there's someone out there who can set me straight? I always appreciate a correction from an alert and well-informed reader. Help me out…